Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Grew up your middle class girl...

I grew up in your typical middle class family. Mother & father had been HS sweethearts. I have 1 brother. They are very conservative and I was always the black sheep of the family. I found anyway to break away from the bullshit. Learned the only way I could live my life was to lie to them and go for it. I was raised with an artistic mother who suffered from anxiety and who was held back by a man who grew up in a Southern Baptist family. It was an interesting mix. Both my parents are very intelligent and they decided when they were married that they did not believe in religion. I was raised an atheist. It was a confusing existence. To be raised by parents who were not religious but had the morals of a very religious family. My mother was a sexual woman who tried hard to keep in shape but she also had to adhere to my father's conservative views. I would hear them having sex as a kid through the vents of my room...lol. Your typical story..when I was 13 I found sex pics of my mother with my father..they were polaroids. They did not ever talk to me about sex. I was the girl. My brother was treated very differently..he was the man. I explored my sexuality in my own way. I masturbated all the time, I kissed a girl when I was 9. My first sexual experience with a boy was oral and I loved it. I could not get enough of it. I had to hide my sexual existence from my family. By the time they found out I was not a virgin, I was in college. I had already been with over 20 men by that time. My sexuality was my own. It is something that has always empowered me. Made me feel free and like a woman.

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