The Rebel in me...

As I tell people, I consider my life as a journey. So the next few blogs will be about my journey thus far. When I was growing up, I was not allowed to make any choices of my own. My mother was very unemotional & OCD and my father was absent. (supposedly working all the time..which I later learned was most likely having affairs) I was always a free spirit. Never knew what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. I was willing to try new things but with a mom who was worried all the time and a controller, I was always told it was too dangerous or not what she wanted. Throughout my schooling, I never fit into a clique however everyone seemed to know me.

I tried many things in HS...always loved to dance. I was chosen for drill team but my mother would not allow me since it cost too much. I was forced to be in band and hated it. Was never good at playing an instrument. So instead I painted my nails..hehe! I found a way to dance by trying out for color guard. I did it on my own as I always have done. Behind my mother's back. Again, I was chosen. She accepted this since it was connected to the band. (which BTW my brother was the drum major) I was good at dancing and twirling and it was something I chose. Made many friends in color guard but still had many friends outside of it too. My best friend was a writer and editor of the school newspaper. She & I spent most of our time proclaiming ourselves as "Hippie Chicks". We traveled all over town & doing crazy shit..which I will talk about in later blogs. I joined theater and loved acting but growing up with an anti-social family, I had major anxiety in front of a crowd so when it came down to it, I was scared. Again though, I was determined to find something that I had chosen.

I never dated anyone from HS..they just were not interesting to me. I wanted something more. Nothing ever was satisfying to me so I did spent lots of time searching for something or someone to make me feel complete. This really never happened. I dated many guys that I met at teen night clubs, at the beach, around town, or in college. I was very sexual. I was searching for an emotional attachment that I did not have with my family. Of course, I did not find it with any of them either but I was a kid...so who would. I loved my experiences looking for hot guys to hook up with. I dated guys that were photographers, an entire fire station full of hot guys, rich boys who did lots of drugs, random guys from clubs. Anyone who lived a life that was SO against my family's ideals. Keep in mind, my parents never knew about any of them. Some were amazing, others were total dicks...but in all they were of my choosing. They always seem to be the bad boys. Guys I would never take home to mommy. I had to lie about where I was and what I was doing but I loved every minute of it.

Thinking about it now, I am sure that is where all this began. At an early age, I loved being sexual, I loved searching for new men, I loved being risky and the excitement of trying wild new adventures. I was truly never one to be your average middle class soccer mom. Living a life that was mundane. I have always needed to feel sexy & free. It is who I am and I am SO happy that I have now realized it and can act on my true emotions rather than hiding from them. This experience has been quite a coming out for me.

The next few blogs I will get into more detail about my experiences throughout my life leading up to where I am today. I was always the rebel & the wild child. Guess you never truly change. You are who you are & when you can be that person...it is a great relief.

From teacher to adult entertainer

As many of you know, I used to be a teacher. I went to college and earned a BA in Education and taught for 5 years. I loved teaching and the children however I was never one to be a "yes maam" kinda girl. I was never one to not push the envelope nor just go with the norm for the sake of being politically correct. I do not judge others. I am not prejudice nor a racist. I found in my teaching career that even though I always chose to teach in lower economic schools that the administration was just the opposite of me. They did judge, they were prejudice, and they were racist even though they tried to hide it under the idea they were politically correct. I believed that all children had an equal chance however they had to follow rules and learn to become good citizens. Unfortunately, the school where I taught last did not follow their own rules and only cared about numbers not children or teaching.

So anyway, off my high horse about teaching. Since I was so disheartened in the system, I was miserable. I became a social worker rather than a teacher. At my lowest time, I had a friend who told me about the career she had chosen. She knew that in my personal life, I was a wild child. I was the one dancing on the bar, fucking in public, fucking at swingers clubs, and being a total exhibitionist. That was just me. I found myself thinking about my lifestyle experiences all the time. I found that a fellow teacher friend had delved into the lifestyle and we spent hours talking about it on a daily basis. I wanted to share my crazy experiences. I wanted to tell her about meeting my "boy toy" at the pharmacy down the street during lunch and fucking him in my van. Then returning to school to teach the kids. I know it was bad. She did the same thing...lol. The world of teaching is a very emotional job with no adult contact so you gotta find it somewhere. Yes, teachers are freaks.

Well, needless to say, I decided over the summer I would give the web cam job a try. See if it was something I liked. I can say from the 1st day, I was hooked. Who could not enjoy chatting with guys who are all over you, getting naked, dancing, and masturbating while getting paid. Hell, I know every guy in this world would choose it if they could. Well, luckily I am a hot woman and it was something I could do and love it. I loved all the attention. It made me feel sexy. It made me feel alive. I made me realize that I was a wanted woman. Someone desired by others. I loved being able to tell my crazy ass stories with others and not feel like I was doing something wrong. I even continued to teach but in a totally different way. I was teaching men how to work their wives to be more open. How to change the way they handled situations. How to make themselves more desirable. It was a very empowering experience which I can say that I continue to love today.

Over the last year, I have now delved into the adult industry. I was contacted by Alysha & Adam and asked to make a DVD with them. I was scared to death...could I do it. Was I the right person for the job? Would I look stupid? I took the plunge like most everything I did these days. Fuck why not...you only live once right? It was the best experience I have had thus far. NaughtyAlysha is one of the coolest people I have ever met. I feel like we are twins separated at birth...lol. She and I had so much in common. We became instant friends. That experience instilled faith in myself that I could move forward with this. I am so excited about new adventures and to see what will come out of all this. So far, I have a new career, my own business, new friends, and a whole new outlook on life. It has been a risk well worth taking and I am willing to take it all the way. Hang on...it's going to be quite a ride.

"Embrace the Cock"

I have an opinion that if all women would look at a man's penis as a toy then they would enjoy it so much more. My saying that women should "embrace the cock" actually came from chatting with a fan. He and I talked a lot about how his wife was not as open and how he has tried everything to get her into sex more. The whole saying came from me telling him he should hang a sign on his front door that says, "Embrace the Cock". I told him that it is a process. Most women have grown up believing they are not to be aggressive or open to new experiences sexually. I was never talked to about sex where my brother was. I looked at sex as if it were not dirty but not discussed either. This being the case, I was not always open to new ideas. Don't get me wrong, I was always a sexual person. I loved sexual feelings. Whether it be masturbating in the shower or in the bathroom privately or meeting men and having one night stands. I never felt it was wrong but was not open to discussing. Most women have that stigma.

So, my theory is this. I believe that women need to change their way of looking at a man's penis. Men are very much voyeuristic. They have always looked at a woman while having sex with them. Women for the most part are more self-conscience about watching. I know in the past if I opened my eyes during sex it would be a peak so that my partner did not know I was looking. I guess I always felt like I could not enjoy that part. I felt like that was taboo and I would be seen as kinda freaky by the guy I was with. Well that is completely wrong! Women are not afraid to look at their dildo. Grab it, lick it, stroke it, rub it against themselves, and then fucking themselves with it hard. Why not look at an actual penis that way?

Well of course after many years of marriage and living in a lifestyle where most people enjoy watching sex, my opinions have changed. Women need to feel the confidence to let their partner know they are watching. They are enjoying what they see and are letting go of those stigma.

Sexually women need to look at a cock as simply a toy. One definition of a toy is a playful or amusing act; diversion; pastime. Well if you are not talking about having sex for reproduction....then I would consider sex very much toy-like. It is an amusing act, a diversion from real life, and should certainly be a pastime. Women should not only see themselves as pleasuring a man but pleasuring themselves. Many women do not take the time nor emotional effort to let go and just enjoy themselves to the fullest. I know I did not in the past.

Ever since I have "Embraced the Cock", I have been a much happier and confident woman. I have realized that women are in control of the man's sexual experience. We can make or break it. Sex should be about fun and enjoying the sexual feelings and pleasure. Women should open up their own bodies and mind's to dismiss emotion and feel just raw sexual pleasure. A feeling that for me that will have to be explained in future blogs.

I do believe that as a man, you must make the effort to help your wife see the sexy woman that she is. You must be patient and honest and you must be willing to give her the time to learn who she is. See that she is a powerful creature and she can have the freedom to express herself sexually and open up to physical feelings that she has never experienced.....Trust me it will be worth it!

The Search for Single Males

As you probably already know, MrSiren & I are always on the hunt for single males that we can use for film or play. Hehe! I am always looking for a good single male that can satisfy my needs. I am quite insatiable. MrSiren loves watching me fuck other men so we are always searching. We have had many really cool kick ass guys become really good friends and lovers for me. We have also had many more that were duds. Sorry to say but there are so many guys out there that will send old pics, chicken out, lie about themselves, or just plain right cannot perform. It is quite a task to find the guys that will work out. We have learned over the years that we have to be very specific in our ads to find single males. We do use Craigslist as well as a local swingers site to meet new guys. As you can imagine when posting and ad on CL...if you are not specific then you will get everyone under the sun. From those who think we are SPAM to those who will respond every single time for the last 3 years with the same pics. Come on guys...we are very intelligent folks. We do remember your face or faded cock pic from 20 years ago. What do you think will happen when we do choose you and you actually have to come to the door? I don't know but I do not have the balls to just show up and not be who I said I was. Find it very interesting....

First Couple...

Yesterday I blogged about my first time in the LS and tonight I thought I would write about my first experience with a couple....no so in the LS. lol. Starts with a really good friend from HS. She and I have been friends since we were 14 years old. We spent lots of time together as teenagers and always had a lot of fun. She ended up married at age 17 with her 1st baby on the way. We kept in touch after HS off and on. By the time we actually started spending time again she was on her 3rd hubby. She is a beautiful sexy blonde...her hubby is 10 years younger than her. She and I started spending lots of time together going out on GIRLS NIGHT, working out together, hanging out with our fams. My hubby went out with them a couple of times to "vanilla" bars and hung out. They are not swingers but she has always seemed to be very curious about the whole thing. One night we decided to have them over for drinks and to hang out in the hot tub. We had no intentions of hooking up with them. We all had quite a bit to drink and she and I started dancing on the back porch in our swimsuits. She whispered to me that we should kiss each other just to freak the boys out. Well, I knew it would not freak out MrSiren but her hubby I guess. We started making out and it was a lot of fun. MrSiren was all eyes and really into it. Her hubby...not so much. He just kept talking about his "uncle's farm"...LMAO.

We decided then to take it to the hot tub. We all threw off our clothes and hopped in. Her hubby sat against the side and was obviously a little nervous. Again, she and I started kissing. She ended up fingering me while I fingered her in the hot tub. I went over to MrSiren and started kissing him while still playing with her. She went over to her hubby and we both started making out with our men. It got very hot and steamy in the hot tub.

We took it into the living room and ended up fucking our own hubbies on the couches in front of each other. MrSiren being the instigator that he is...pushed me over behind her as she was riding her hubby and I started kissing her while my hubby fucked me. I then started kissing on her ass and licking her as she rode her hubby. It was FUCKING HOT.

Unfortunately, her hubby never moved from the couch. She did all the work riding him and sucking him while MrSiren and I fucked all over the room. At the end of the night, they went home as if nothing happened. I did get a call from her later that week saying that it was just too much for them and that they could just never SWAP.

I know that she wants it but he could just not handle it. I do understand and I don't make any judgements. He is far too jealous to be part of the LS but sad that she will never have the chance to experience the openness and excitement that comes along with being part of this life.

First Time...

So, I have decided to get back to writing about how I got into this alternative LS called "swinging". After looking into the LS we decided that the 1st time should be a MFM experience. I had never been with another man since my hubby and I had been married. I am not one to cheat so I would have never considered this until we had agreed upon it. We had chatted with the SM we chose for a few weeks and decided it would be best to ask him to come to our place for our 1st "play" date. I was extremely nervous needless to say so I did have to get myself a little comfy. I drank a bit before he came over and quite a bit once he got there. We spent a lot of time hanging out on the back porch talking and then decided we would all get into the hot tub. He had brought his swim trunks since he was not sure what was going to happen either. LOL. We all got into the hot tub with swim trunks on but that did not last long. Of course, MrSiren being the instigator that he is, began rubbing and kissing on me and offering to our SM friend to do whatever he liked. They both began grabbing, rubbing, kissing all over me. Taking off my swimsuit. I was kissing my hubby while our friend was fingering me in the hot tub. He is a foot guy so he was rubbing on my feet too. It was wild and crazy but with the alcohol loosing things up for me and me just totally enjoying the moment it was VERY HOT! MrSiren left to get a drink and went inside. Since I was so into the moment, I kept on going with it. Next thing I know, I am hitting my head on the steps of the hot tub while our friend is fucking me like crazy. It was wild. I can say there was a lot more to the evening but due to the length of the blog and the alcohol clouding the experience. All I can say is that there is a running joke for the last few years that "I can't feel my teeth" is the sign that I have had enough alcohol to let all my inhibitions go and fly with the moment. Turned out to be an amazing experience and we have not turned back since.

My 1st DVD in the Adult Biz

So, I know all of you have been dying to know about how my time went in Tampa, FL with NaughtyAlysha. I was so excited and nervous about going to meet Alysha & Adam (her hubby). We left on Friday morning and headed to Tampa...once we landed we waiting at baggage for them to arrive.

They picked us up in their SUV and they were exactly what I had hoped they would be. Very down to earth and the most kick ass people I had ever met. We talked all the way to the condo we were staying in. They let MrSiren & I have some time alone to chill after our trip and we planned to start shooting our 1st scene that evening. MrSiren & I walked around and decided to go have some drinks at Bahama Breeze. What a cool place. That evening Alysha & Adam came back and brought all their equiptment. OMG...I was in Toy Heaven. She had the biggest collection of dildos I had ever seen...not to mention the biggest dildos I had ever seen. I was WAY EXCITED!

Alysha told me to pick some out and we got dressed for our 1st scene together. I was a little nervous but she was so cool that the nervousness went away and we had so much fun doing to 1st scene together.

After a short break, we shot the 2nd scene and it was my turn with the toys on my own. I had such a good time trying out all those amazing dildos. Trust me the water works were on...hehe!

The next day we started shooting in the afternoon and wanted to get our work done quickly so we could have some play time. The 3rd scene was also with me on my own but this time I decided to get brave and go for some bigger toys...WOW! Shot that scene on the kitchen cabinet and I know it turned out extremely HOT!

The 4th scene was shot on the stairs and uh-oh Adam got shot in the camera when I squirted so much. You know I was liking it and think he kinda enjoyed it himself.

The last scene was with Alysha & me and damn it was the best. I am so not going to reveal all the cool things we got to do together. You will just have to find out when the DVD comes out in the next couple of months.....

It was an amazing experience and I cannot wait to do it again!!!!! Thanks my sexy friend NaughtyAlysha and her wonderful man for a great time!